Salvation
Farhan Roy Rani
who owns the lion's mane.

Prologue


The sky has no limits. Go break a leg.

./ Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Singapore and Thailand. WTF?

I've done my hw! Wohoo!

Janz turn crazy today.

Got Malay test.

Practical was cake!

Ms Tan said got IP Coaching. But in the end, it was cancelled.

Reached home at 4pm.

I didn't meet dear}: She meet...nvm. (she'll say "don't think other things sayang..")

I love her. I want meet her tomorrow. I call you tomorrow after my lessons baby. Smooochies!

i'll never stop loving you

Maybe God Wanna Teach Me a Lesson./ Monday, January 29, 2007
I didn't come for school today. The moment I woke up, I felt like falling down while I was about to pray. I was really weak. Maybe god wanna teach me a lesson. I pray to him for me to gain the strength mentally in any way. I hope I can be a better person in times to come. Insyaallah. I can be cranky at times but I guess not when I'm sick. Therefore, I pray hard for my own speedy recovery if god allow me to.

I miss her terrible loads. I'm trying to forget the past and grab the wonderful future. Holding on to this relationship with strength and courage. I'm weak in many ways but I'll try to change. I love her very much its all I can say{: I'm sorry baby...

I wonder what's going on in school. Damn! I miss the lessons man! But I manage to escape for Art! Seriously, I'm stuck already for my art! Help me! HELP! Haha!

So I guess that's all for today post. I hope to see myself in school tomorrow. And of course meeting my girlfriend!

That's it.

btw, here's my class picture!

now..who's the fronline man? issit me or what? 5C rulz!

hold my hand like we used to in my dream

Hmm./ Sunday, January 28, 2007
I had a terrible nightmare. I hate it. I can't believe it. How could it happen? I woke up with a heavy head, sore throat and heavy heart. I fear of loosing her. I really love her. I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to loose her. That's all I wish for. I hope the nightmare won't come true. That's it.

hmm...

Don't worry sweetheart{:/ Saturday, January 27, 2007
I'm so bored! I've been thinking over something. Nightmares are something everyone do not like about it. It sucks! It could be really scary or saddening. What I'm really concern is that, I hope its not true. I don't want them to happen. Same goes to my girlfriend. I'm sorry about just now. I hope it won't happen again. Alright honey? I love you{:

I think I'm getting a fever. But who cares, I'm gonna eat a large chocolate man! Hehehe! Want some?

i have something for you baby{;

What's wrong?/
Common test is coming again. I hope I pass this subject. I failed my maths. I hope I pass my english. TOUCH WOOD~ Yeah yeah. Always forget. Then why don't you forget about something more precious? Nvm. I used to hear that words from my aunt. She's a catholic. I don't mind about that because that's her religion words. But I'm not sure if its christian or catholic who uses this words. I'm curious actually. My dad is very strict about this. Even when I said this for the sake of fun or accidentally last time, he would dare to slap me on the face. I tried saying this in front of my cousin and uncles, they won't talk to me. Wth. If my grandmum won't convert to muslim, then I can use that word. Its not I'm biased, I respect other religions. Its just that in Islamic teaching, you are not suppose to use that. That's why from the day I was about to get a big fat tight slap on the face, I decided follow the rules and try to advise my muslim friends if I can. Yeah, some forget. Hmm.

I wonder..If my grandmum did not convert, then my dad won't too. So that means I'm a catholic too. Hahaha! A Peranakan Catholic. That's common. Haha! But I'm lucky that I turn out to be a muslim. A muslim with some spoilt attitude I guess. Once I reach 20+, I hope I could change it for the better.

I'm about to have a fever. FUCK MAN! Oh. Sorry. I just remember I can't say that. Hmm.

I really miss my Silat Trainings. My father went to pay the fees yesterday. I can't follow. I was too tired. They ask me where I was. My father explained everything and they said no wonder. Haha! They praised me like what sia! I was once a very hardworking silat athelic. Haha! Then they said that they would want me back next year. Haha! And my father allow me join the Regional Competition next year despite my mother objection. WOHOOO!! I hope my ankle will recover soon! Haha!

I'm fucking bored today. Opps! I forget about that again. I hope my cousin is free today to play pool with me! I'm boredddd!!

you know me well if i'm like this

Damn!/ Friday, January 26, 2007
Yesterday was damn boring. NYP Open house was so pathetic. But on the other hand, its our 21th mths together. Happy 21th monthsary dear!

Today was damn tiring! I stood all the way from Bugis to Choa Chu Kang with my heavy bag. Damn heavy! Also, today was the day I will never forget man! Chaos everywhere. Yeah man~

I haven't touch the guitar for almost 1 mth. And I tried sweep picking just now. Hahaha! The fingers have finally memorized the movements except for the speed. Damn!

Tomorrow is going to be a boring day for me. Hmm. What shall I do tomorrow? Haisay man~

Btw, my gf's friend look like my cousin. Sekali bukan. Haha!

Well lastly, I don't want to say what I want to say. I hope this feelings would go away. I really hate it. That's all.

happy 21th mthsary~

Please!/ Monday, January 22, 2007
Today during Maths lesson was quite irritating and stupid. I could see Janz can't take the noise the one who is sitting in our group. I was so irritated until one part I did this while trying to see Janz maths notes, "arghhhhh!" to that particular person. No names mention. I tried my best to understand the steps the teacher was trying to teach while this smart alex interrupt and kept tickling, disturbing and tried to teach me as if that person know how to. I heck care that person and just pray hard in my heart so I could concentrate hard. Hahaha! I wish he's sitting some where else. Let the chairman sit in my group. Please!

School was ok overall. Excluding the one I mentioned above. Yes yes! Hmm. Malay IP Coaching was ok. I feel motivated to study suddenly la. Haha! I also don't why.

I miss my dearest loads. More than the word infinite. I love my girlfriend so damn much which it could replace the word damn f*cking loads! Yes I do baby~

Oh shit! There's Maths Test and Biology Quiz tomorrow. I think I better stop here.

Bye!

i love you is what i will say to you everyday my love{:

Ok! Lets Blog!/ Sunday, January 21, 2007
I had a fun time with my girlfriend yesterday. Thank you dear! Eventhough the timing wasn't quite right, I had a great wonderful time going to Ngee Ann (finally, my questions are answered by them and dearest), enduring the smell of shit, eating at LJS talking about my problems in school, then walking to Esplanade and of course going back home. Its fun and I want it to happen again.

I cannot forget about yesterday when dear said something which made me teased her througout the outing. Hehehe! I think I shouldn't blurt it out here, right dear? She said she shouldn't have had said that. Hehehehehe! But its ok dear. Hehe.

Today is Sunday. Since yesterday I forgot to wash my school shoes, I have to do it later. How could I forget? Haha! Sunday is usually my revision day where I would revise what had been taught in school especially Maths. I want to pass that subject in order to take part in the course I wanted. Shit! But in order for me to take that course, I have to learn A-Maths for the first year. Wah lao! Nevermind. I have my girlfriend. She can teach me. Hehehehe! I hope I could make it this year. Same goes to my girlfriend in a few weeks time(:

Well, I gtg and get my breakfast. Take care~

i promise it won't happen again, insyaallah(:

Review/ Saturday, January 20, 2007
Damn! Another week had just passed. So many things happened in school and outside. Being 18 this year is so much different than last year. I don't know why but I seldom laugh at lame jokes nowadays. Only when I'm stress-free, I'll be a lamer. Even some of my retainee friends. I noticed their difference in them.

My ankle is bad to worst. Its like really big. I wish I could do something with it. But I don't think I have the cash. Haha! I think its due to the Physical Education that day. Well, who cares~

Ngee Ann Poly open house was alright. I'm going there again later. Then I was thinking to play pool tonight with cousin if I can make it.

Yes I miss dearest alot too. Never will I forget one day of missing her. I truly love my girlfriend very much[:

I've been lazing around this few days after doing a whole bunch of revision at home and also doing some homeworks. I'm going to proof everyone that I can make it.

I read a religious book that day. It is really meaningful and also helpful. It says something about making the other person happy not hurt. Let say if someone's cooking actually taste quite horrible, don't say it directly but just keep it inside your heart and instead of critising her cooking, praise her. Or let say someone is wearing awfully, don't comment anything but keep him/her smiling and don't hurt him/her as sins will be added to his or her list. Life is full of challenges. I dare not say I'm the best. I too had done big mistakes before. I am really sorry to those who I had done a biggest mistakes. Especially dearest. I'm truly sorry. And some of my friends like Azhari and gang taught me a greatest lesson of not to be who I WANT to be. They once told me I was quite arrogant in Sec 1. I'm sorry to all my friends. I'll try to abide these mistakes.

I shall update more soon. Take care.

lets hold this heart together[:

I gotta try!/ Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I felt as if someone is breaking my leg. I'll bandage my ankle tightly tomorrow. I don't care already! I have to give it a try. I know its risky. Gosh! I should have listened to what my dad said that day. I'm so foolish! Maybe its my punishment by God. I cannot forget that painful day. I went to Petir to meet my friends. It was the second day of Hari Raya Aidilfitri. There were only 3 of us. Thasif, Hafiz and myself. I learnt ollie down. Maybe I went to fast or maybe I used my glued shoe. Glued shoe are risky as it's quite slippery to the griptape of the skateboard. I pop the deck and drag. Guess what? I dragged too much causing to loose the grip, causing me to land on my ankle inwards or outwards which I cannot remember. The first thing I could remember was there was a 'krak' sound! I thought I broke my ankle! I tried moving my ankle. Not clockwise or anti clockwise direction but just up and down. Dumb~ Haha! I shouted to my friend that I didn't broke my ankle happily. Then my friend told me to skate back. Damn! I can't even stand properly, he asked me to skate again. Haha! Once I stood up, I fell down lying down with my super pale face. I really thought I broke my ankle. I imagined myself sitting on the wheelchair or using the crutches. Haha! No one even cared to help me! Not even those adults. Just my friends. I'm quite thankful they were there. If I was alone, I'll be dead I guess. I stood up and try walking. Every steps I took its like walking on nails. I could feel the pain while typing this man! So due to this, so much things I can't do. Silat, running, standing too long, jumping and so much more. Hmm. I hope tomorrow will show some good results for my legs. I got to try!

I'm going Ngee Ann Poly. Then maybe reached school by 3.30pm. So I hope I could meet dear tomorrow. I miss her now. Btw, when am I going to have a shoulder length hair man? Haha! I can't wait to show it off to my cousin! Then it'll be cool going out with him and the other afro cousin. Haha!

That's all!

*ps: my gf called me that day right after I injured myself! haha! I forgot to type it down just now...hehe..

je t'aime, je t'adore (i love you!)

Sup?/ Tuesday, January 16, 2007
There's ups and downs. Life is full of challenges. I can go nuts thinking about it. But I can't help it. Just pray hard to god.

School life was damn f*cking awesome. Not that awesome. My dearest wasn't there. Wondering what she was doing. When I wonder, I can wonder dangerously. So I can be a weirdo. These few days, I could see myself a little bit different from last year. I was not as noisy as last year. Thinking about the future and all the past. These sucks. I didn't have P.E for 4 consecutive lessons. This morning, I tried not wearing my ankle guard. Oh gracious! I cannot take it after a few steps of fast pace walking. It was horrible. Sometimes, even the teacher could not believe us. Haiz. Its like as if...nvm.

I miss dear alot. Eversince she's not around, I took my chance to spank other girls' butt. Opps! Wrong sentence. Should not type it out. Should have keep it a secret. Maybe I could say this, I got the chance to flirt with other hot girls. Damn! So do you believe me? What do you think?

Well, sitting with Janz was abit different this year. We are quite serious at times. But when it comes to lesson, we paid full attention, well not everytime. Disturbing the Nerdy Boy in class was our job. This morning, Janz crack the most hilarious joke ever man! Hahaha! "Never change arh.." Haha! That's his favourite phrase.

Test was like, it was just like any other period. Normal as ever. And Thursday will be going to Ngee Ann Poly. Could meet up with Dhuha man! Haha! Then the following week, could meet some of my outside friend in NAFA. So many open house. Well, I just hope I could get into the course I want next year, insyaallah.

I was thinking to close down this blog of mine since there's like a few or even none tagging my blog. Or maybe I shall open up a new private one where no one can read it. Not even my girlfriend. How's that? Maybe just to my cousins and uncle.

NS deferment done! I'm so relieved! Yeah!

Last, I love my girlfriend loads. Never will I do such a thing like those stuff above. I had promise her something and I promise that I won't break that promise. Yeah yeah, promise are meant to be broken. So I shall say this, Insyaallah..I'll pray hard for this. Amin~

*Ps: So, you have a new boy-friendSS huh? Flirting behind my back and saying bad stuffs about me? How dare you~ I guess I'll do the same. How about that? I won't if you won't. [:

Take care readers (if there are any). I love you baby~

would you do it? i guess its a NO. am I right? or issit YES? answer for me please before I shut this site down. am i?

Pool Day!/ Sunday, January 14, 2007
Yesterday around 4pm went out with cousin and uncle to Woodlands Point. Finally after asking so many people on which bus to take us there, we decided to take the taxi. Damn! Haha! Played pool there. My cousin was the best man! Man, how I wish I've taken my O Levels and I'll be going to his house everyday then. Hmm. What a life!

First, we played billiard which I was leading through the game. But when it comes to pool, damn! Hahaha! Well, end everything at 6.45pm and went to my uncle house. Chill there and around 9.30pm went back home. Very tired. Haha! I hope everyday was like this. No worries, just happiness. Hahaha! Crazy!

Till then, I'll end here.

i shall wait for my hair to grow till my shoulder length and show it to you cousin!

Its hard. Why?/ Saturday, January 13, 2007
I kept thinking about it. I pray hard it would not happen. I hate, I do. How am I suppose to forget about it? I hate thinking about it. I wish nothing was bothering me. I ain't the the type who loves "emo" shit. I'm just different now. All the injuries I had, gone thinking about it. I don't have the mood to do anything. Maybe thanks to my uncle and cousin yesterday and some of my friends for trying to cheer me up. This is fear. I won't let fear overcome me. I'll beat the fear if it comes to me. I'll beat it like my dad used to beat me, to discipline me. I don't want this attitude in me. I want it out. Johnny Cash once said "disappear". I want it disappear. I pray hard and I'll wait like I use to wait. Wait for moment. Patience. Mistake are meant to be made by humans. But once its overdone, then, there's a consequences. I still love you. Its not I don't. Its not your fault. I told you about my problems. I know you understand. I'll wait for the next movement if there is. I shall and I will.

the promise i told you will never be broken unless there is an interference, i'll do something about it. something he or she would never forget. i promise.

....../ Friday, January 12, 2007
I am who I am. Try me.

not in the mood. ask yourself.

I'm just too lazy./ Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Since its school days, I may not be updating much due to Art research and studies. Well, I'll tell you briefly.

- School was normal. But not that normal. I miss that certain someone.
- 17 going 18 is like quite old already.
- If I don't notify the NSF about the deferment, I'll be going for NS soon.
- I found my Report Book!
- I miss my lovely certain someone.
- I miss her!
- Yes I do!!
- I hope 2007 will pass very fast like a rocket.
- English was ok!
- Maths was awesome!
- O Levels is like a few months away!!!
- I miss NUR HIDAYAH BTE AZIZ!! I love you dear~

no. please don't stop. i prefer that way. i will feel loved and concerned by you sayang. furthermore, i will feel motivated! i love you baby, will always do~(:

2003-2007/ Sunday, January 07, 2007
)':

My little brother just passed away this morning. I felt so sorry for him. I treat him as if I had my own blood brother. But he's adopted. I felt like crying but crying won't do any good. His eyes were blurry. I could see that. I really love him like I love my closed ones. I never thought this day would come. I'm going to miss you little brother. I'm going to miss carrying you. Dad was very upset when he found out about it. I'm really sorry little brother. I really am. I love you little brother. May god bless you. Amin.

2003 - 2007; great memories between you and me including mum and dad. i love you lil brother...

And here are some of the fun times we had during the camp:

Crazy nite arnd 11.45pm. Haha! Mus treat us Ice Lemon Tea! Thanks bro!

Sexy back with my cool face trying to eat janz up plus the 4D/Toto and the Carlsberg

d' n I acting cool which end up not so cool. If only the spot was at different place not at cheers! Haha!

d' n I driving! haha!

On our way for the talk. How smart do I look with my super sexy tie. Too bad you can't see me in full! 3 of them were awesome in bus cracking some dumb jokes. Haha!

Alright. I still miss my little brother. I hope he'll be having fun on the side of the world~

Back from camp/ Friday, January 05, 2007
Damn the camp was awesome. Not that awesome without dear. I miss her lah~ Last 2 days Islandwide Treasure Hunt was quite fun. But I sprained my right ankle again. Its big again and quite painful. I found one sticker which was very pathetically small in size! Haha! Waste time for just that! Gosh! Eventhough I was the malay guy in the group, I managed to understand what they are speaking. Haha! So they are damn cool with me man! They rock n roll! Then when going back to Kranji which we were chasing time, I saw a school girl don't know from which school. I thought she was my cousin. I was very "semangat" to go to her and take a closer look. God gracious! I was wrong! So paisay! Haha! Nvm la! Never talk to her. For what talk to her when I got my gf to talk to all day long! Right dear? (: Reached school, I was being sabotage by the facilitator to dance in front of everyone using a Spiderman mask! Damn! Should have done moon walk! But too bad, I hate dancing. Hah~

So the next day, I forgot to wear my ankle guard! Damn! I tahan until Day 3 w/o it man! Haha! I got the same room with De Jun, Janz and Nick. It was crazy man! I went inside the fridge, cupboard and wearing spiderman mask scaring people. Haha! Slept at 2am+. Before that, we need to wear a formal attire. I looked like a teacher man! Haha! Ain't that cool? Haha! Then the lunch was damn rocking man! Haha! Hmm. I miss dear so much. How I wish I could be with her now. Hmm. Gosh, how am I going to play sports? I can't do alot of running! I can't skate! I no longer skate already. Chilling now. Haha! Awesome. And damn! Yesterday one of the selected pupils were ask to dance on stage at Tampines CC. One of them were so disgusting man! That's why I hate to see people dance with too much enthu. I only like some. I don't encourage myself to dance on the first day of camp but what to do. Haha! But seriously, those dancers everywhere have something which I don't like to say. Yeah its good for the body but dammit man, please...............I think I shouldn't say here. If you have the body, treasure it. Don't...Nvm. Maybe one day, I'll try techno dance. Haha! Then that's awesome. Nah~ Jk.

Gosh! I miss dear! Hmm..Haizz..Well, I still manage to spend time with her. I love you dear~ Takkaire everyone and have a fcuking nice day jabroni!

i prefer you to be your normal you but what if the you don't, then i guess you have to find out yourself

Everything New Except One/ Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I had a fresh new haircut! Its much more neater than previous one and I extended my ez-link. Yeah! If not, every trip will be an adult fare! Damn! Haha! This is what I don't like. And if I don't extend my deferment by 31 Jan, I'll be going for NS. How to defer when the last page don't have the submit button? Haha! Gosh. Tomorrow is the start of new school term. I'll be missing dear alot! She's my companion for the year 2005 - 2006. Well, I can still meet her after schools this year if I got the time. Hehe.

Tomorrow is starting day of the camp. Damn! Actually, I got mixed emotion about it. Well, look on the bright side of life dude! Haha! I bought a new pair of jeans. Wohoo! Haha! Everything's new except one, ME! I'm the still ol' Farhan baybeh! Haha!

Well, I'm gonna miss all my peeps especially my 89 batch and dear's batch and of course DEAR!! I'll miss you~ Alright. Chaloz!

drifting apart will let our love grow stronger baby(:

Miscellaneous

Archives: December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / May 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 /